i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
