Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
