Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
