Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
