I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
