I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
