then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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