I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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