Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
PANTIES FOUND
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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