He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
