Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
