So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
