I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
