just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
