Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
