the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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