I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
