If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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