She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
