Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
whose parrot is this?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
