If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
