I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just had sex bonerless
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
