It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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