Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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