just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i drank out of a bidet.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
