I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
