so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
