dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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