thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
