when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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