just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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