She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
