I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
