I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
