Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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