3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he thought i was a dude.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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