Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize