i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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