Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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