I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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