youre lurking in front of me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
