Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
