I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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