we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
