You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
