Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
