weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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