If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
