Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
