i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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