I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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