If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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