he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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