there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
