the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I just shit out all my problems.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
