One girl and one boy is just not enough.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
