So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Houston, we have a blender
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
