Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
