I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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