Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
