oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
