Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
