TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
